Are you dating a Divorced Dad and have questions? SingleDad answers dating questions from Women who want to more know about how to date a Divorced Dad. Ask SingleDad Read more.

Dating a Divorced Dad? Ask SingleDad

Author: RJ Jaramillo, Editor, SingleDad.com

Posted: 05/25/12

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Ask SingleDad

Are you dating a Divorced Dad and have questions? SingleDad answers dating questions from Women who want to more know about how to date a Divorced Dad. Read more…

Ask SingleDad: Going Back to Court

Dear SingleDad,

I have been dating my single dad beau for over 6 months now and it has been quite an adventure. There are some things I still have to deal with on a daily basis and it drives me crazy. I currently have a problem finding a way to properly support my boyfriend when it comes to the recent issue he is having with his ex-wife. She is taking him back to court and the date is coming soon. My Single Dad boyfriend has been acting very quiet and withdrawn from me and I am trying to figure out how to support him during these tough times. As his girlfriend, I feel shut out the day he got the court letter. I am not asking to know every detail of his court letter, however, I am just asking him to communicate with me. It took him over 24 hours to open up to me about the details and he apologized for his demeanor, but it has still left me feeling unsettled.

As a non-parent partner in a Divorced Dad relationship, I want other SingleDads to know that girlfriends are not mind readers. We all can relate to everyday stress, pain, and anger that happens in all types of relationships. In my case, I want him to know and understand that I'm here to be a support, a shoulder to lean on ... I'm not here to fix the problem, or tell him what to do, or criticize him or anything. I would like to know how I could help him the next time this situation happens. Can you offer any suggestions?

NC Heather

Dear NC Heather,

You can’t control life; life just happens and we have to roll with our circumstances. In the case of your Divorced Dad boyfriend, I am going to have to tell you that some men are wired differently when it comes to emotional communication. Men don’t talk as easily as women. Not every man has the same exact wiring in their mind to communicate their feelings under times of stress or change. In the case of your boyfriend, he might need a little time to process the feelings in order to communicate them properly. It’s not that he’s hiding anything; his approach is to process and then choose his words.

It is also possible that he didn’t do a very good job in asking for some ‘space’ from you in order to find the right words to talk about his upcoming court date. There are many possibilities on how this conversation played out; however, I have a suggestion to make. My suggestion is to have you offer a conversation and let your beau know that you want him to feel like he has all the space when he needs it. Let him know if you detect a little need for distance, then you will make it your responsibility to say, “Hey, I sense that you may need some time to process something, I am happy to give you that space and respect”…. And say no more.

Trust me, I can bet that his response to your suggestion will be met with mutual respect. Give it a try and keep me posted.

Dating SingleDad

Ask SingleDad: Separated, but Not Divorced

Dear SingleDad,

I have been dating my Divorced Dad for over a year, (off and on). We met at a Holiday work party and he was going through a separation. I kept my distance and told him my position about dating a man going through a separation. He has two kids ages 4 and 7 and I have not met either of them. Over the past 6 months, I have noticed a trend of having him ‘disappear’ from me. He goes on these streaks of calling and going out with me; and then it stops all of a sudden. When I try to call or text him, sometimes it takes days or weeks for him to respond. He always has a good excuse on why he has so many delays between seeing me. I am at my wits end with him and I have just about given up on dating him. I am a 34 year old, single woman, never married and no children of my own. Can you give me any advice on what I should do? AliceInDallas

Dear AliceInDallas,

Have you ever heard of the phrase, ‘You can’t be a little pregnant’? You are either pregnant or you are not…What I am trying to say is that you dating a person who is neither Married nor Divorced. What comes with this person is a level of uncertainty that I am sure is a reflection of his relationship with you and other parts of his life. I am not making the choice for you, but offering you a better understanding of your relationship with him and anyone who is in this relationship status; things can’t move forward as long as one of you in the relationship has their life in “NUETRAL”. He’s not moving forward. Get it?

Ask SingleDad

If you are dating a Single Dad and want some candid advice, email us your Dating a Divorced Dad questions to: info@singledad.com and we will review your topic and post your questions on upcoming article post.

Richard Jaramillo Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”