Online dating does work - it has worked for many happy couples, through a variety of online services. Throughout my years and dozens of online dates, I have become somewhat of an expert.

Online Dating Works!

Author: Clare Bean

Posted: 10/03/08

Rating Rate:

Currently2.78571428571/5 Stars'
1
2
3
4
5

(42 votes)

Email to a Friend

Print this Page

If you have done any online dating at all, you can attest to the fact that it takes some navigation and finessing to do it with any success.

Online dating does work…it has worked for many happy couples, through a variety of online services. Everything from the free dating site PlentyofFish.com to the “it’s ok to look” pay site, Match.com to the even more expensive and more matrimonially-minded eHarmony.com. I have tried them all, both before I was a mother, and after. Throughout my years and dozens of online dates, I have become somewhat of an expert.

Everyone deserves companionship. Many people feel online dating is an efficient and effective way to meet a companion. If you are one of those people and haven’t had much success, or you are not one of those people and are curious to try, here are some pointers.

Screen Name
Whatever you decide on, don’t include sexual innuendo or the numbers “69.”

Photo
If you only use one make sure it’s current (within the past year) and make sure it’s of your clear smiling face. People are not dumb, especially when it comes to appearances. Unfortunately, our society places a big importance on looks. If your date meets you and sees that you don’t look like your photo…even if it is your best shot, you will not be off to a good start. The worst thing you can do is misrepresent yourself right out of the gate. This lays a shaky foundation and it’s not likely to hold up for any length of time, so be up front with your photo.

Do include a good face picture, but also show a few action or full body pictures.

Do not include photos that are blurry, or show you posing with other women, a fish, or nude/topless if you aren’t totally toned…leave something to the imagination. Do not include a photo of a celebrity, that’s a little weird.

Headline
Do keep it genuine and positive and if you are creative, try something unique. The funniest headline I can remember was “The quick brown fox jumped over the stupid chicken.” It never hurts to use irony, or satire to stand out from the crowd.

Do not use “Insert Catchy Headline”

Do not use anything too depressing or sad like “Just Hoping She’s Out There” or “Trying This Again” or worse “Are You The One?”

About Section
Maintain a level of sanity, and really just be open about who you are, what you like to do, and what you are looking for. Put some thought into it, and spell check. A person can tell if you haven’t put a lot of thought into it and that could indicate that you aren’t interested in putting in effort towards a relationship. If you use humor, try not to make it about sex or bodily functions. On the flip side, do not make it too long…leave some stones unturned. Give yourself some conversation starters for when you meet.

Initial Correspondence
Do not have a blanket email about yourself that you send to everyone. It’s totally obvious. If you are really interested in meeting someone, take the time to read about him/her and respond with care.

Do bring up points in their profile that you can relate to or that you like. The best way to get someone to like you is by liking them, by showing an interest in them.

Do ask questions, this will help your chances of getting a response.

Do keep it short and sweet. Writing a novel to a person before you’ve even met them can seem a little overly enthusiastic.

Do use humor, but not too much and nothing sexual or about bodily functions. Sarcasm has been proven to be offensive, so go light on it.

Do give one or two nonsexual compliments.

Do not be afraid to use your creativity, show your sense of humor.

Your First Date
Meet at a place that gives you the chance to talk and get to know each other. Take into account the weather. If it’s raining don’t plan to meet at the waterfront for a walk. A coffee shop or a friendly non-dive bar or pub is a good safe first meeting spot. If you meet the person and find out that they have misrepresented themselves or there is no interest, you can exit quickly and gracefully.

The best advice for a successful date is to be a good listener, ask good open-ended questions, and be genuinely interested in your date. The more interested you are in him/her, the more he/she will like you and be interested in you. Avoid talking endlessly about yourself and don’t tell long stories unless he/she asks. I know it’s easy to do when you’re nervous, but try to only tell about yourself when he/she asks and keep the focus on your date. If you want to charm your date, be warm, courteous, be interested in him/her, and be genuine.

Recommended reading: The Power of Charm by Brian Tracy and Ron Arden

Clare Bean is a happy single mother of one vivacious 2-year old. She is also co-creator of iHeartSingleParents.com and the Creative Director for Single Parent - the magazine. By connecting single parents to each other online and creating a print publication just for single parents, Clare hopes to give single parents a voice in society, proving that being a single parent is something that's not only acceptable, but a role to be proud of.