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Legendary Cubs Hall of Famer Ernie Banks Elected Honorary President of Fatherhood Educational Institute

Left to right, FEI advisory board member and former New York Giant Gordon Bell, FEI President Emeritus attorney Jeffery Leving, Honorary President Ernie Banks, FEI board member matrimonial attorney James Hagler and FEI supporter, matrimonial & appellate attorney Andrey Filipowicz.

Legendary Cubs Hall of Famer Ernie "Mr. Cub" Banks was elected Honorary President of the Fatherhood Educational Institute (FEI). FEI is a non-profit organization founded by nationally recognized family law attorney Jeffery M. Leving. The non-profit is dedicated to promoting positive fatherhood involvement in all communities.

Mr. Banks became involved with FEI because he was impressed by its outreach programs and seminars. The Cubs Hall of Famer was especially admiring of FEI’s fatherhood educational seminars, which allow men to gather together and talk about some of the stresses of modern fatherhood, as well as its Virtual Visitation Initiative, which aims to foster greater connection between children and fathers who are physically removed from their families because of disability, illness, military service or incarceration.

For more information about the Fatherhood Educational Institute call Jennifer Whiteside at 312.795.9060 and visit www.fatherhood-edu.org.

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Home » Ask A Lawyer » Need 2 Ask a Lawyer Topic: Ex Flaunting Infidelity

Fathers Rights, Family Law for Men, Child Support, Alimony, Modification and other Father support services are offered on SingleDad.com Learn how to stop you ex from flaunting her infidelity...

Need 2 Ask a Lawyer Topic: Ex Flaunting Infidelity

Author: Matt Allen, DadsDivorce.com

Posted: 06/27/12

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Need 2 Ask a Lawyer Topic: Infidelity

What To Do If Wife Is Flaunting Her Infidelity

During our divorce, my wife and I are living in the same marital home to keep our expenses at a minimum.

Can she bring her boyfriend into my house when I'm not there? He’s been there when I’m work and sometimes he’ll be there alone with our kids.

Answer from Cordell & Cordell men’s divorce lawyer Jennifer M. Paine:

Probably, unless you have a court order to the contrary. I gather from your question that you do not.

In most states, each parent’s physical custody rights include the right to choose who will babysit the child during that party’s time. As a matter of constitutional law, parents are presumed fit and competent to make these decisions, and, as a matter of divorce and child custody law, the court will not interfere with the decisions unless they are not in the child’s best interests.

That means, a mother could choose her boyfriend over her husband, and her divorce court will not interfere with that choice unless her husband shows it is not in their child’s best interests.

This does not mean, however, that all is lost. Try the following:

Try to Settle: The friendly, less-litigious parent often gets rewarded in the child custody case. Therefore, if you think settlement is possible, approach your wife and try to reason with her. Explain your concerns.

Ask for her agreement, in writing, to use a certain babysitter, to expose your child to her boyfriend only at certain times (or not at all), and so forth. In most states, the court will accept parents’ agreements as in their child’s best interests and enter them as court orders.

Get an Order: Ask your divorce court for a child custody order. This may be through a “motion” or a “petition,” depending on the jargon in your jurisdiction, and you may have to obtain your child’s guardian ad litem’s cooperation.

Explain why your wife’s choice in babysitter – her boyfriend – is not in your child’s best interests. Your mere disapproval is usually not enough. Couple it with your availability to babysit, examples of poor care-giving from the boyfriend (is he a drinker? a smoker? loud? a poor example? unable to perform CPR? Etc.)

Ask for a provision for “first right of refusal,” which means you will have the first opportunity to babysit your child during your wife’s time. Ask for a provision that names a particular babysitter, such as a neighbor or relative. And/or ask for a provision that requires each of you to notify and obtain consent from the other, which will not be unreasonably withheld, before selecting a babysitter. These are typical child custody order provisions.

Document: Be sure to document your concerns. Take pictures to support your position that the boyfriend is not a good babysitter (e.g., the boyfriend hit the children, the house in unclean while he is there, etc.)

Keep a parenting time journal with the dates, locations and details of any event you think shows your wife’s boyfriend is not a good babysitter. You will need these for future reference if you do file a motion or a petition. They will refresh your memory.

Beware, though, since writings from you may be admissible into evidence against you. Therefore, avoid nasty name-calling.

Most of all, be sure to address your concerns with your mens divorce attorney. An attorney can negotiate a parenting time agreement for you with language your court has accepted in past cases.

Cordell & Cordell is the nation’s largest men’s divorce law firm with offices in 24 states and is happy to assist men in divorce cases.