How To Be A Better Dad : Enforcing Responsibilities

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How To Be a Better Dad is the Fatherhood and co-parenting section on SingleDad. Learn how to enforce responsibilities when having a young adult living in the house Read More…

How To Be a Better Dad: Enforcing Responsibilities

How To Be a Better Dad is the Fatherhood and co-parenting section on SingleDad. Learn how to enforce responsibilities when having a young adult living in the house Read More…

Dear SingleDad,

I am a 44 year old, divorced single dad with one child who
is now considered an adult by age, but not in actions. My daughter turned 18 only a few short
months ago and she still has yet to take any responsibility into her
hands. By this I mean that she
stays out all night and sleeps all day, and when she’s home she never helps out
with the house and honestly I am coming to my wit’s end. I am busy with work and clientele and
simply do not have the time to treat my adult daughter like a small child
anymore. How do I get her to start
contributing with housework and start acting like the adult I know she is
capable of becoming?

Signed,

Severely Stressed Single Sire

Girl Sleeping



Dear Severely Stressed Single
Sire,

Taking the transition from being
a child to becoming an adult is difficult not only for the adolescent at hand,
but also for those who are close to them. Especially the parents, and even
more so if you’re a single parent, Something we all know too well. Being an adult means more
responsibilities and higher expectations, and being a parent means helping your
child make that transition and helping them meet these expectations. There are two main techniques of approach
that you can use to address your daughter’s new role in the world as a working
and contributing adult – having a heart-to-heart discussion with her or
implementing a system of punishments and rewards. Depending on your relationship with your daughter, one of
these techniques may work better than the other, or you can choose to
synthesize the two to create a more wholesome solution.

Staying Up Late

I suggest sitting your daughter
down and talking to her with honesty, but also with a level of authority so
that she has an understanding that although she is indeed an adult, that you
are still her father and that if she wants to be treated like an adult she must
prove she is ready – and as her father, it is your responsibility to help her
along the way like you have been doing her whole life.

A popular technique I recommend to
single parents is having a list of responsibilities and expectations that your
child is made to aby by, and if they still do not follow the rules set on paper
you can modify it to your liking, or with compromise, and add stipulations and
consequences that will be enforced if your child doesn’t stay on task. You can use her becoming an adult as a
wake-up call, a catalyst to get her to start doing the things she needs to
start doing. Explain to her where
you’re coming from – an overworked and stressed out single parent who can no
longer support an adult child solely in the same ways as you have for her
growing life. And lastly, trust
that you’ve done things right in the past 18 years and that she will be able to
handle life as an adult.

Got Kids? Need Fatherhood or
Single Parent Advice?

Ask SingleDad

Do you have a Post Divorce,
Single Parenting or Fatherhood question you want to ask, send us an email with
your question to: Parenting@SingleDad.com
or CLICK HERE and
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will maintain your privacy.

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”

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Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”