I love having my daughter around all the time, but especially for holidays. But what if circumstances don't allow you to be with your child on Halloween night?
No Kids on Halloween
| Author: SingleDad Member Tom Taylore | Posted: 09/29/08 | ||
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I love having my daughter around all the time, but especially for holidays. I have to admit it really means a lot to me to be a part of something memorable for my child. Even though Halloween isn't a "real" holiday, it's still fun to experience it with my daughter.
On top of that, one of the coolest things about being a dad is the ability to relive certain things from childhood. And, of course, dressing up in silly costumes, feeling the hard, plastic vampire teeth in my mouth and getting yummy candy are all good memories for me.
But what if circumstances don't allow you to be with your child on Halloween night?
Well, this Halloween I'm face with this exact occasion. And I wanted to share with you the way I'm dealing with it. Like many things in life, it just doesn't work out the way we want or the way we thought it would. It's something we, as single dads, need to accept.
It's easy to fall into the "story" of what your child is doing on Halloween without you. And what I mean by that is the mental story that goes something like this:
"She's out with her mom or her friends and having a good time, probably not even thinking about me..."
The biggest trap that some of us fall into is making it all about US! But guess what? It has nothing to DO with us. In fact, the best thing that a child could think about is being in the present moment and NOT be thinking about Dad. I know this sounds a bit hard to accept on the surface, but there is a real gem of truth about being very "present" to what you are doing.
Even if my daughter was with me, I'd want her to be absorbed into the idea of "spooky doorways" and getting her favorite treats... I mean, hey, Halloween only comes once a year and your child should enjoy it!
If not having your child during this one night to dress up really bothers you, try to have a Halloween time of your own. If you live close to your ex-partner, try splitting up the night. In the past, I've got neighbors to hand out candy while I went out early with my daughter for an hour. If you end up not being a part of your child's Halloween experience, don't fret and certainly don't make it about you!
So it turns out that I won't have my daughter this year; it's actually her Mom's turn to take her out. So, when it comes to being a dad and Halloween, sure, I will miss my daughter, but her undivided attention in the present moment for HERSELF is more of a joy than actually being there.
