Let's face it, as a guy our options regarding birth control is rather limited compared to our female counterparts. Basically it's condoms, abstinence or the ultimate, vasectomy. As single fathers, what do you think?
Ultimate Birth Control
| Author: Brad | Posted: 06/21/09 | ||
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Let's face it, as a guy our options regarding birth control is rather limited compared to our female counterparts. Basically it’s condoms, abstinence or the ultimate, vasectomy. The fact is that as a married guy who has been with the same woman for over 10 years and who is in his mid 30’s, condoms are NOT an option for obvious reasons. In somce sad situations, abstinence is inherent once you get married but that’s not my case nor is it really a healthy option either. As far as I can tell, that leaves the big one, vasectomy. Is it the best way to go or is it overkill?
So my wife and I have both come to the conclusion that we don’t want to have any more kids. We’re done. Finished. No mas. I really don’t have it in me to have another baby in the house. The only option really seems to be a vasectomy but I’m really having a hard time coming to grips with the permanency of it. I’ll be honest; I’m typically not the best person when it comes to really big commitments. I take them very seriously, maybe too seriously. It took 5 years of living together to finally marry my wife. I tend to over analyze any major decision and there seems to me that little is as serious as permanent infertility. I know that some people will say that it’s completely reversible and all that but from what I’ve found that doesn’t tend to really be the case. Sure they can reverse the operation (for at least $10k) but it certainly doesn’t mean that everything will be back to the way it was. We have things under control now but I still can’t help but think that an accident could still certainly happen and quite frankly, that terrifies me.
Although a vasectomy makes logical sense now, I keep coming back to the idea that what if something absolutely horrible happens and I’m left without my family, time passes and I meet someone else. What if we decide to have kids? Is the vasectomy reversal going to be sufficient enough for us to conceive? The reality is that we never know what the future holds for us and this just seems SO permanent. On one hand that permanency brings with it a piece of mind that is exactly what I want but on the other it’s almost too much to handle.
My wife has spent has spent our entire relationship in charge of reproduction (or masterminding the intentional lack thereof). I can't help but think that it is time for me to step up now that we are done adding to the global population and be the one in charge of our family planning. It really is not the pain factor that makes me squeemish here. My wife is always quick to remind me that the pain factor was not a factor in our creating the family (specifically the birth) and actually I think that chilling on the couch with some painkillers and a stack of comedy movies will get me through the pain quite well. I guess it is the emotional toll I struggle with rather than the physical.
What do you think? Am I being ridiculous or do I have some company on this? Love to hear your comments.
Brad
