How To Date a Divorced Dad: School Schedules & Dating

1118
Rating :
(0 Votes )

Ask SingleDad is the Single Parent Dating section on How To Date a Divorced Dad. This month, a Single Mom wants to know about scheduling dating time when kid’s school schedules start to conflict with her Single Dad. Read more.

How To Date a Divorced Dad: School Schedules & Dating

SingleDad wants to help you
understand Single Parent Dating from a Man’s perspective. Ask
SingleDad is the Single Parent Dating section on How To Date a Divorced Dad.
This month, a Single Mom wants to know about scheduling dating time when kid’s
school schedules start to conflict with her Single Dad. Read more.

How To Date a Divorced Dad: School Schedules & Dating

Hello, Ask SingleDad

I am a 40-year-old divorced mom of two girls. I
met a mid-40 single dad (9and7) on an Internet dating site called, E-Harmony,
three and a half months ago. We started talking, then texting, and went out
five times and then summer ended.

Between his travel and my travel and custody we
haven’t seen much of each other in the last couple of months. We
continued to text and an occasional chat and met for drinks and kept things totally
casual. We have had a few good make out sessions, but that is about it.
I would like to explore the possibility of a relationship however, now with
school starting, we are on opposite custody schedules.

How do single parents date when you have opposite
schedules? He is a very devoted dad, he would actually like more time
with his kids and I respect that. I am struggling with understanding if
there is something "there" for us or if he is just keeping me around
out of boredom?

Any Suggestions you can offer me are greatly appreciated.

-Carol in California

foreplay

Hi Carol,

Being a Single Parent and Dating a Single Parent is
different and has its own unique challenges:

  • Custody
    schedules are never the same during school
  • The
    "Right time, Right fit" in both of your lives to move forward is
    always difficult to gauge
  • How to
    Make the most of your time

These are just some of the many things you may or may not be
going through. It is often difficult to get both Single Parents on the same
page because the fact is that we are always in different stages of the
"emotional recovery" of life after divorce.

What I can draw from is my own personal experience. I seemed
to go very quickly into falling for a Single Mom during the summer and falling
out of touch when school started for my kids. It wasn’t because I was a mental
case; it was mostly due to the fact that my "alone" time with my
Single Mom was so infrequent, that I wanted to make the most of my time with
her and it was often confusing for her to "read me" when I would go
absent for long periods of time due to my custody schedule and school starting,
(A couple days at a time because I had my kids 3-Days ON, 2 days OFF Alt
Weekends ON)

I was running into the same situation that you explained in
your email that your SingleDad was doing to you.

After a few of these experiences, I decided to confront my
fears and be vulnerable. I asked the woman I was dating, "How can we make
this work?"

single parents

How To Date a Divorced Dad:

Our conversation was candid and honest and we came up with a
mutual solution, (I am making clear I used the word, mutual because if you
don’t get complete "buy-in" from both of you, it doesn’t work):

We met for a date with a calendar, three colored pens and
pencil and we outlined the next 90-days:

1. We marked my custody dates in BLUE

2 We marked her custody dates in GREEN

3. We marked OPEN dates in RED

With a pencil, we were able to document every conceivable
family and work-related event for the next 3 months and had a pretty good idea
"WHERE" we were and "HOW" we were going to make the best of
the next three months. I can only tell you Carol, we made the most out of our
time together and we were even able to organize some combined family,
"Play Dates" together ( without PDA) and had a ball…

Sometimes, when you see the future, you can appreciate the
time you have together and I know this man that you have in your life would
like to look forward to more than a few heavy make out sessions. Take the lead
on this and organize the event with the items I talked about. Make sure he
understands the purpose of "WHY" you are doing it:

1. The opportunity to see each other and spend quality time.

2. The creative and often romantic possibilities in the next
90-days, (stay-cations, meet-ups, being creative does not have to mean
expensive)

3.Explain the "Play Dates" with each other’s
families and how you can still have time together without PDA and have a good
time. Give this proposal a try and let me know how it goes. Dating a Divorced
Dad is different and sometimes staying on top the schedules is what you need
here.

Are You Dating
a Divorced Dad? Ask SingleDad

SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating
from a Man’s perspective. If you are a Single Woman dating a divorced dad and
have a question, or a Divorced Dad seeking dating advice, send us an email
to: Dating@SingleDad.com Your
question will be posted to our readers and we will

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”