Tired of Getting Pushed Around? SingleDad.com Relationship Advisor, David Wygant, gives great advice on the guy we all love to hate
Here is an interesting topic. How do you deal with someone who is just an ass? How do you deal with a person like that?
You know about whom I am talking. Take this example. You are playing basketball with a bunch of people, and there is always that one guy who never got over losing the high school championship.
He is being overly competitive, trash talking nonstop and arguing over every call. Every time you go up to make a shot, he fouls you but never says anything (although he taunts you afterwards).
Every time he goes up for a shot, however, he cries "foul!" even if you barely brushed him. He will start screaming at the ref, "Did you see that?! Didn’t you see him foul me?!"
Everybody allows this guy to act this way. They will just make light of it by saying something like, "That’s just Jim. Just get drunk with him later and he’ll be fine."
How do you deal with this type of person, especially if you are not that guy who wants to wait for booze to bring out his "good personality?" How do you deal with this kind of person when they are in the midst of their bad behavior?
When you are confronted with someone like this who is confrontational by nature, you need to address them directly about it. So using the basketball example above, when the guy gets all out of sorts during a game you should look at him and say "Man, I come here to play to relax. I really do. You need to stop bitching. You sound like a woman on her period. You just nag, nag, nag. Do you ever listen to yourself? You complain nonstop. It’s enough already. Just play the game."
You call the person out on their behavior, because people like this rarely are called out on their behavior. Everyone just allows them to act the way they do.
Then when someone does actually call them out, they will usually get a little defensive and say something like "Relax, I was just kidding." All of a sudden you will see that person’s behavior completely change, and they will try to be your friend.
The reason their behavior will change is because they are actually waiting to be called out. People are strange sometimes. Why do they wait to be called out?
They are so used to being the guy who can push everyone around. They are so used to being being the guy who gets away with everything. So when someone actually stands up to them, they respect that person.
So the next time you are confronted with someone like this, be sure to call them out! It is what they really want you to do, and what you really need to do.
Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
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