Single Dad Blog: Mrs. Wrong

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SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating from a Man’s perspective. How To Date a Divorced Dad is the Q&A Single Parent Dating Advice section on SingleDad. Our question this month comes from a SingleDad that thinks he married the wrong girl for the wrong reasons…. Read more

Ask SingleDad: Mrs. Wrong

SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating
from a Man’s perspective. How To Date a Divorced Dad is the Q&A Single
Parent Dating Advice section on SingleDad. Our question this month comes from a
SingleDad that thinks he married the wrong girl for the wrong reasons.

Dear Single Dad,

I am currently in the middle of my life’s largest shock wave
that has yet to hit me: the realization that I have made a terrible
mistake… I am a 51 year old single
dad with two teenage children, still years to come before either one of them
becomes an adult, and I have gone through the stages of: A. got divorced, B.
remarried – but I’m afraid that I have married the wrong woman for the wrong
reasons, and I am just now beginning to reflect upon this. Looking back on my first marriage, I
can see now that what really caused our separation was my lack of
responsibility and commitment in the marriage – as I jumped onto an affair, and
then married that same woman of the affair. Now, that woman has left me too, leaving me in this barren
wasteland of tragedy that I have left in my wake. I have ruined my relationship with my kids and my ex, I
married the wrong female for the wrong reasons, and now I am facing the reality
of, well, yes, my life is a mess… and I suppose I am asking you for advice, for
help… Is there any way to repair these relationships and undo some of the
damage that has been done?

Signed Most Sincerely,

Darrel in Desperation

Talking To Daughter

Dear Darrel in Desperation,

Hey Darrel, sounds like you’ve put yourself in quite the
uncomfortable situation, but I would like to start this off by reassuring you
that ANYTHING is possible when you’re coming from a place of humility. It is okay (and even good!) to
acknowledge and regret, and I am sure that there are many members on this site
that can relate. As the Editor and
Founder of Single Dad I never judge anyone, and I appreciate your honesty
regarding your marital mistakes – as many people will hide behind the real
reasons as to why their marriage went downhill and ended in a split path, each
former spouse heading in an opposite direction. But remember: this is a JOURNEY! Do not expect immediate results! People have been hurt, people have been damages, and your
actions have hurt a lot of people – especially your children and former
spouse.

Talk to your family

First, I recommend starting off with an apology. Don’t just say "sorry;" actually
apologize and mean what you say.
Honesty, like I have mentioned before, is critical to a relationship’s
success and is vital in the reparation.
Address her concerns and complaints in this apology, and make sure that
she knows the place where you are coming from and fully comprehends all that
you have to say. Even if you don’t
want her back as your partner of romance, it is clear that you would still like
for her to be a part of your life – so make sure that she knows that! Women aren’t mind-readers any more than
we men are, so you’re going to need to spill it all out to her just as you
spilled ink on here. And don’t
forget to apologize to the kids – a BIG part of this equation. After your apologies have been heard
and acknowledged, you must kind of leave the ball in their court, as it is
their decision whether or not they should give you forgiveness.

Fights

So, if you keep
it all in perspective, there is no instant pill or phrase or book I can offer
you to read that will fix everything in an instant; you must remember that this
road you are headed down is one of a journey and it will take time to reach the
end you desire. However, what I
can offer you are a few words of wisdom: do not make excuses; be accountable for
your actions; state your regrets and ask for forgiveness; and finally, be able
to forgive yourself and really get real with what you did and why you did
it. And that is your path of
reparation. I wish you the best of
journeys and all the successes along the way!

Are You Dating
a Divorced Dad? Ask SingleDad

SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating
from a Man’s perspective. If you are a Single Woman dating a divorced dad and
have a question, or a Divorced Dad seeking dating advice, send us an email
to: dating@SingleDad.com or CLICK HERE and fill out
our form. Your question will be posted to our readers and we will maintain your
privacy

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”

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Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”