1 out of 5 single parents use internet dating as their primary resource for dating. From eharmony to Match.com, SingleDad is the number one resource for Single Parent Dating Advice and Resources. Editor RJ Jaramillo shares some of the best tips for men on getting started with their profiles in our ongoing advice column, The Single Dad Dating Project.
One of the newest services offered by SingleDad.com is Video
Coaching. SingleDad members get free, one on one single parenting advice on a
variety of topics. This month, RJ Jaramillo discusses "The Single Parent Dating
Project" and offers his advice for men who want to start internet dating.
We all know dating as a single parent has its own schedule,
rules and behavior patterns. Between balancing our family lives and careers,
it’s difficult to re-establish a dating life. Over the last couple of months, I
have had a variety of SingleDad members inquire about internet dating. Most of
these men were complaining about the poor results or the lack of inquiries made
to their profile. So I decided to take a closer look at these complaints and I
want to share what I uncovered and the positive results from our coaching
To understand internet dating, you have to understand the
fundamental rules behind it. First impressions mean everything. You have to
rely on your profile to capture someone’s attention in a matter of seconds. The
right balance of profile name, content, humor and photos can make the
difference between success and failure. Here are the top three items to help
every Single Dad succeed at internet dating.
Step #1 : Profile Name
Dating is supposed to be fun and exciting, so lighten up. A
great way to send a positive message to the dating world is a light hearted or
funny profile name. Remember who’s reading your profile… Women. There are hundreds of women visiting your
internet dating site daily and you only have a fraction of a second to capture
their attention. If you want to stand
out in a crowd, have a funny profile name that is going attract attention. More
importantly, remember the saying, "If you can’t laugh at yourself, then who can
you laugh at?" Women generally want a man who has a sense of humor, so find a
profile name that is current, funny and light hearted.
Step #2: Profile
What’s inside your profile is equally as important, so
remember the following rules about how the content should read in your profile:
be simple, brief, honest, positive, and funny.
Over my last few coaching sessions, I have seen too many "wordy" profiles. There
is a fine line between confidence and cockiness. Do not talk too much about your
material possessions or your financial well being; nobody wants to hear it,
especially in your profile. Women want a man who can be honest and vulnerable.
Bragging only puts up a shield and is a huge turn off. It is perfectly fine to
discuss your priorities in life like your family, your career, and your desire
to make life happen again in a new relationship. It is also fine to discuss your positive and
amicable relationship with the mother of your children. Just make sure to keep it
brief and simple and never play the victim. If religion or spirituality is a
qualifier in your search for the right relationship, it is perfectly fine to be
up front about your beliefs. Just make sure you follow the same rules, keep it
brief, positive and to the point.
Step #3: Your Photos
Women are just as visual as men, so remember that your
profile photos can make or break the deal. There are a few flat-out "don’ts"
when it comes to the type of pictures you should post on your profile. Here are
Do not post photos where you had to cut off a part
of the photo to remove a significant other. This applies to ex-wives and
ex-girlfriends. If you don’t have a current picture, take one. It’s that easy,
The 10 Years or 20 Pounds Ago
Too many times you see TV dating commercials
mocking men who look nothing like their profile photos. In all fairness, I see
just as many women that are guilty of this as well. The bottom line guys, is make sure you post
current photos of yourself and you will avoid that awkward stare on your first
date. Practice good "photo karma" and
the universe connect you with more women with current photos of themselves.
Group Photos or Jock Shots
There is nothing worse than posting a photo of
something you accomplished, like a sporting or group event, where you cannot be
recognized. Most women love a rugged,
"sporty guy" but make sure she can distinguish you from the crowd. Post photos
where you are easy to spot and make sure they are appropriate. Then you will
have the opportunity to have an interesting conversation about your jock shot.
There is one final note about posting photos on your profile,
family photos. Since this article is geared towards single dads and single parent
dating, I feel it is important for men to present themselves as open and honest
as possible. It is perfectly fine to post a family photo on your profile, based
on a couple qualifiers. First, make sure this photo is a general shot, like a holiday
photo. Secondly, it is also important to discuss this with your children. As a
website owner and editor, I have grown accustomed to talking to my children on
the family photos I post on SingleDad.com and I think the same rules apply. Get
permission from your children and you will gain their respect and even open a
door to a new family conversation.
Dating as a single dad and single parent dating has its own
unique challenges and opportunities. But there are lots of opportunities: 1 out
of 5 single parents use internet dating for their initial dating activities! I
hope these tips will increase your online dating success and ultimately your
success in Making Life Happen Again!
Watch for next month’s article as we continue to discuss new
topics on The Single Dad Dating Project.
Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”