Grooming Guide for the Newly Divorced

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RJ Jaramillo, founder of SingleDad.com, gives grooming advice to newly divorced men.

Okay, lets all face it, when we were married, we often took some liberties with our grooming habits and let certain healthy habits fall to the wayside. Well this article is for all of us who are ready to get back into the dating scene and rediscover a little love, romance and maybe a little attention from a beautiful woman.

The Big Picture – What women see in you

I do a lot of coaching on SingleDad.com with newly divorced men. I am amazed how many men don’t understand how finely tuned women’s 5 senses are. In fact, I truly believe that women secretly own the 6thsense which is the “lie detector” but that’s a whole other article. Anyway, I explain to my fellow SingleDad.com members that women size up a man in less than a second. It’s not a perfect science, but when a woman is evaluating you, there is a sequence of events that all men should be aware of.

The Face:

A smile says a lot, so make sure you take good care of your teeth. I’m not going into too much detail on this one, but regular visits to Dr. Wong (that’s actually the name of my dentist) will help you avoid a lot of harmful things (like being mistake for Austin Powers). Flossing is great if you can remember to do it at least 3 times a week. My tip is to get a tongue scraper. This little plastic, y-shaped gadget is something I use after brushing and before I go to bed. Why? Because you have no idea what sticks to the back of your tongue after a meal and turns into the bad breath you have all day. You need something that is going to pull that gunk out of your mouth – that’s why. Get it, it’s cheap and you’ll thank me later!

Facial Hair:

Not all of us can look like Chris Cornell or Johnny Depp, so facial hair could be hurting your chances with women. If you don’t have the time to keep your beard, mustache, or goatee nice and “tight” then don’t keep it around. Keeping your facial hair trimmed tells a woman that you are aware of yourself and how you look to other people. If you have prematurely graying facial hair, I suggest one of those over the counter products that will color your beard like Just for Men. However, be careful not to over use this product or keep it on your face too long. It can leave stains on your skin and leave you with a little down time.

The general rule for whether you should have facial hair or not depends on the shape of your face. You should know if you have a round, long, or oval (egg -shaped) face. Avoid growing a beard on a round face, that’s the best way to add 10 pounds. Try a goatee to put some angle into your mug or just keep a clean shaven look. Long faces can handle the beard and the moustache; but a goatee just makes the face look longer. The oval, or egg-shaped face, can handle all three and you typically see this kind of guy wearing all variations because of this fact. If you want to know more about the shape of your face, just ask a friend “Which mug do I fit”?

Let’s talk about other parts of the face. Depending on the guy, eyebrows can get a little out of control. Now I’m not talking about every guy, but for some I highly recommend getting rid of the unibrow. You know who you are and I’m just saying to clean it up a bit, okay? Here is what you need to know if you plan to get your eyebrows waxed. Yes, it is hot wax that is placed around your eyebrows. Go to a licensed esthetician who is trained to do this. Don’t do this at home or with a friend. You don’t have to have the treatment make you look too perfect, all I’m saying is to have your eyebrows done in a way that you can clearly see the separation between the eyeball and the brow, and the two eyebrows should clearly be seen as small, separate caterpillars resting above your eyes!

One final comment about unwanted and overgrown hair on your face, nose hairs. I can share with you my own personal battle with this unwanted, overgrowth of hair. I hate it and I constantly keep an eye on it. It helps to get some inexpensive scissors to trim it weekly (for me). I found these scissors right next to the nail clippers at the local supermarket and my technique on how I use them is simple to teach. Pull my nose up, look in the mirror and whatever is poking outside of my nostrils is what a woman can see too so it gets clipped!

NIN: The truth about nails

There is nothing more romantic than rolling around in a bed with a beautiful woman on a rainy day. What’s even better is when the woman pays you a compliment and tells you something out of the blue that is both profound and funny at the same time. I recently had that happen to me when a woman said, “I noticed that you take good care of yourself and that you keep your toenails trimmed”. I tried not to imagine the last guy she was with who had horribly long toe nails that scratched her to shreds. All I know is that it is very important for every man to keep the nails trimmed; both toenails and fingernails. Keep a spare clipper in your car so you can add to the already bad driving habits we already have on the road.

Men’s Fragrances

Cologne is a personal choice and I can say that not enough men invest in buying a little “nose candy for women”. Think about it, you have seconds to cast an impression. The women you are about to greet has already sized up your face, smile, height, hair style, eye color and now she is zeroing in on your scent and all you’ve got is deodorant?

Let me give you some simple tips on cologne. It’s ideal if a man can have two types of cologne for the two different times of the day he is seen. Daytime cologne will be fresh, soap smelling, and clean and is appropriate for work. The after hours, socializing cologne will bring out the spicy, chocolate scents that attract people who like chocolate; like women. There are a variety of great colognes that represent both sides of the spectrum and that fit every budget. My daytime cologne right now is Giorgio Armani “Gio” and my evening cologne goes back and forth between. Jon Varvatos “Vintage” and Dolce Garbana “the One”. Give them a try and tell me what you think.

Hair Style

This is definitely an age appropriate topic. I am not in my 20’s or 30’s anymore, so I know my limitations on a variety of topics and that includes hair style. What fits one guy, may not fit another; and this has a lot to do with age. How one man wears his hair in his 20’s is not always going to look good in his late 30’s or early 40’s. What I do recommend is finding the right person to do your hair. I am blessed that one of my best friends is a hair dresser and has been cutting my hair for over 20 years. I never leave feeling like I have to “grow it into shape”. The cut is always clean and I’m not afraid to ask about keeping it long or short. Asking questions about styles and lengths is important. I guess the moral to my story is to make sure you feel comfortable with the cut you get from the right person. Ask around and get a good referral from someone you know or like the way their hair looks. There is nothing more criminal than seeing one of my members stuck in a “time warp” from when they were divorced and they don’t know how to embark on a simple task like getting a haircut. For my “follicle-ly challenged” friends, it is more popular now than ever to just shave it all off and stop living the lie. Keeping the “comb over” or the “friar/ priest” look is not cool; just go without the hair and embrace your great new look.

I hope this article has shed some new light, or was a refresher course for some of you newly divorced guys heading out into unchartered territory again. Good luck on your travels and make sure you carry a light backpack, a map, a compass and a few condoms. Make Life Happen….Again!

For more information, or to receive a free Single Dad Coaching session, contact; RJ@SingleDad.com

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”

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Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”