Get Expert Family Law Article Advice from our Ask a Lawyer Topic Section on SingleDad. Jeffrey Leving is the nation’s leading Fathers Rights Attorney and offers FREE Family Law advice for Men on SingleDad.com. This month’s topic is about children who are exposed to the early stages of divorce. Read more.
Ask a Lawyer on SingleDad: Children Exposed to Divorce
Get Expert Family Law Article Advice from our Ask a Lawyer
Topic Section on SingleDad. Jeffrey Leving is the nation’s leading Fathers
Rights Attorney and offers FREE Family Law advice for Men on SingleDad.com. This
month’s topic is about children who are exposed to the early stages of divorce.
Question or Comment: Talking
About Child Support
As children get older it’s no secret that divorce, court,
child support topics get more and more difficult to keep secret from children.
As hard as I’ve tried to shield my children from these topics since my divorce
8 years ago, my children are now 11 & 15 and have access to info online,
have friends at school whose parents are divorced, not to mention their mother
has gone against the court order and talked of legal issues to them from the
My question has to do with child support. Our original court
order forbids speaking about it to the children. At the time my kids were 2
& 5 and it was easy. But as they get older as I said the topic has come up
in conversation. My 15 year old brought it up a few months ago. We were talking
about how she doesn’t have enough money to buy clothes…like probably every
teenage girl. I was asked why I can’t buy them everything that Mom does and why
don’t they have as much clothes at Dads than at Moms. Even though to look in
their rooms, you’d think they were with me fulltime. Anyway, the only way I
thought I could explain it without going into details was that clothing, school
supplies and some other stuff that Mom "buys" for them is actually
from both of us parents.
I don’t want to get in trouble for somewhat addressing child
support when asked questions from my kids but know that as they get older they
already know more than I give them credit for. Judges and attorneys have to
know that kids know more these days than they used to and than when they were
younger. How do you avoid getting in trouble when your court order forbids
talking about topics that your kids inquire about? I avoid many issues but it’s
impossible to ignore them about everything they inquire about. Thanks.
As children age they will become more aware of the
circumstances surrounding the divorce case, especially if it was or continues
to be, highly contentious. You
need to understand how divorce effects children ages 11 and 15. This information is contained in my new
book How to be a Good Divorced Dad.
However that does not mean that you should disclose any
information about the case to your children. Many divorce orders include a requirement that the parties
not disclose certain information to the children. What may and may not be discussed with the children often is
controlled by court order.
Further, if your ex-wife is in violation of such an order, then
you may be entitled to a remedy for her violation of the order. You could also potentially seek a
modification of the order to allow you to discuss such matters with your
daughters or even move for a change in custody. An experienced father’s rights attorney is best suited to
make a determination of your rights and responsibilities under the order. For more information, please visit me
Got Family Law Questions? Ask a
Lawyer on SingleDad
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Lawyer Family Law Expert, Jeffrey Leving on SingleDad. (Click here) and send us your questions about Father’s
Rights, Paternity, Child Custody, Child Support, Modification, Parent
Alienation, Alimony and Spousal Support and we will get you answers fast.
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RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
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