When is the right time to introduce your kids?

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Dating a Divorced Dad is different. Whether you are a newly single mom or just a single woman looking for dating and relationship advice; SingleDad is your resource. This month, a Divorced Dad wants to know when is the right time to introduce his son to the woman he is dating. Read more.

Single Parent Dating Q&A

When is the right time to introduce
your kids?

Dear SingleDad,

My name is
Al. I am 38 years old and from San Jose, California. I am a Divorced Dad for
over 3 years and have an 8-year old son. I have been dating the same woman for
over six months and things are starting to get serious between us, (and that’s
fine with me). My girlfriend is 33, and has a 5-year old daughter and never
been married. The father of her child has never been a part of their lives and
does not live in the state of California. She is drama free and I am one lucky
man!

Anyways, my
question is this; is there a "rule of thumb" on when is the right time to have
the children meet the other adult dating the parent? Right now, we have both
kept the children out of our dating lives and activities. We both want to take
the next step and want to know if there are any tips or advice you can offer
us.

Al in San
Jose.

single parent dating

Dear Al,

While there
is not a "rule of thumb" for this particular situation, I do sense that both
you and your girlfriend are taking the right steps on getting to know each other
first. Keeping the children out of each other’s lives while you are developing
your love is important and necessary for the children’s sake. There is nothing
more difficult than having a breakup and then explaining to your son why he
can’t see your girlfriend anymore. Trust me, I have made this mistake before
and it’s not fair to the children involved with Single Parents dating. Since
things are starting to sound serious between you two, here are a list of general questions and statements that I would use to help you
determine the right timing:

  • Is your relationship at the stage
    where both of you can make a commitment to each other?
  • Can you explain to your son that you
    are dating and what dating means to you? Then, ask him how he feels about you
    dating.
  • Schedule three play dates; One with
    your girlfriend and her daughter, one with your son and your girlfriend, and
    the final one with the four of you together. Make sure you have a gap in time
    between play dates so you can monitor behavior and reaction from all parties
    involved. Follow up with open dialog with your girlfriend about the play dates
    and ask for candid feedback.

In summary,
Single Parent Dating is different. There are a lot of variables to consider
when dating another single parent. Keep all things in perspective and be
forgiving and patient with loved ones. Just remember, it’s a long journey
getting your life back in order after divorce.

Good Luck
and keep me posted.

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”

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Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”