Battling the Holiday Blues?

0
1291
Rating :
(0 Votes )

All around you, people are wrapped in the warmth of the holidays, radiating goodwill and just plain enjoying themselves. Meanwhile, you’re moping around the house, feeling sad with every holiday card you see and worried about your future with your kids. What’s a single Dad to do?

All around you, people are wrapped in the warmth of the holidays, radiating goodwill and just plain enjoying themselves. Meanwhile, you’re moping around the house, feeling sad with every holiday card you see and worried about your future with your kids. What’s a single Dad to do?

Relax. You’re not alone. The holidays can be a challenging time for single parents and the newly divorced. You’re apt to feel lonely and abandoned, even a little frightened – especially if you can’t be with your children over the holidays.

The key to surviving and even enjoying the holidays is to accept that only YOU can make the holiday season a successful and enjoyable time. It may take some work on your part but you can survive the holiday blues. Below are some handy tips for making it through the season with your sanity intact.

Drop the blame game – This means your spouse, your attorney, the mechanic down the street. Stop blaming everyone for your troubles, but most of all, stop blaming yourself. You cannot change the past, you can only get on with the future. Accept that you will feel anger, fear, guilt and a host of other emotions around this time and remember, blaming someone else won’t make you feel any better.

Stop singing the “Oh Poor Me Blues” – The holidays are no time to wallow in self pity or helplessness. Take charge of those emotions and focusing on redirecting your energy in more productive ways. Plan a special creative celebration with your children in advance of the actual day. Ask them for input, they’ll appreciate your willingness to give them options. Volunteer your time with local charities. Get your kids involved in volunteering – teach them that there is joy in giving of oneself. It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you’re helping others who are less fortunate.

Temper your expectations – If you traditionally celebrated the season with large family gatherings, it may be difficult to enjoy the holidays alone. Don’t dwell on past holidays. Save the nostalgia for your favorite holiday television specials instead of focusing on should-have, would-have, could-have emotions.

Treat yourself to some holiday cheer – So the holidays are going to be different this year, why not make them really different? Try something new. Plan a holiday dinner with friends. Go skydiving, take a weekend ski trip, hit a spa for a bit of pampering or just allow yourself to sleep late. Take some time to take care of yourself. Don’t abandon healthy habits during this time. Exercise really does make you feel better.

Focus on what really matters – Take stock and reflect on your personal goals and priorities. Are you living your life in a way that reflects those priorities? Set goals to help focus your energy on being a better parent, a better person and a happy, healthy single person. Now is not the time to rush into a new relationship just because you’re lonely. You have to be happy with yourself to be happy with others. Keep your priorities intact.

Don’t get caught up in the commercialism of the season – No trying to outdo your ex-spouse with bigger, better, more expensive gifts. Set a good example for your children and focus on the true meaning of the holiday season.

Put the children first – There is no greater example for your children to follow than the one you set for them. Divorce and separation are hard on them too. The way you handle the stress of the holidays will directly affect the way your children handle their own stress, pain and the changes in their lives. Empathize with them. Your children are also going through pain, fear and uncertainty at this time. Help them to feel secure and stable even though things have changed. Show them that they have what they want most – your unconditional love. Don’t forget to call them on the actual day. That will be helpful to them and will help you with those feelings of loneliness.

Finally, understand that this jumble of feelings you’re enduring is perfectly normal. No one is suggesting that you not feel sad, lonely or angry. It’s what you do with these feelings that matters. It is up to you to try and manage them constructively and healthfully.

Despite your best efforts, you may still find yourself feeling consistently sad or anxious. Seek out professional help if you cannot manage your feelings. Don’t try to heal yourself in isolation, simply pick up the phone and call me at : 1.888.777.3585.

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”

SHARE
Previous articleGrandparents are the BEST!
Next articleAdult Children of Divorce
Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”