Things You Never Thought You'd Say

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One of the best things about being a parent, is the crazy stuff you get to hear yourself say. These are phrases that are completely nonsensical, but make complete sense to you. Words that you never thought you’d hear put together in a sentence, let alone out of your own mouth.

A Humorous Look at Parenting

One of the best things about being a parent, is the crazy stuff you get to hear yourself say. These are phrases that are completely nonsensical, but make complete sense to you. Words that you never thought you’d hear put together in a sentence, let alone out of your own mouth.

I remember my own mother once saying, "Put the peanut butter down, and get your finger out of your nose!" Taken out of context, her words would have made no sense. But if you could have seen what she saw, you would say it too! Here is a select grouping of fabulous
quotes said by me, and other parents like me.

Get naked and meet me in the bathroom.

Sure, I’ll smell your finger. (BIG MISTAKE. Never do this yourself!)

Markers are for paper, not faces.

We do NOT pee in the litter box!

The cat doesn’t wear underwear.

Get your mouth off the toilet. NOW.

Come here and let me sniff your butt.

Little boys don’t wear bras.

We don’t wear shoes in the shower.

I am not a jungle gym.

Yes, your wiener is big this morning. Put it away.

The dog’s butt is not a toy.

No, you can’t eat clay for dinner.

Get your muddy feet out of the refrigerator!

Mommy doesn’t need a diaper on her head.

If I come in there, someone better be bleeding!

Carrots are not weapons.

Why is there a chocolate chip in the bathtub? Oh my god, it’s NOT a chocolate chip!

Don’t hit your brother with that sword ever again.

Please don’t write on my mirror with dog drool.

If I have to tell you one more time to take off my underwear…….

Go give Daddy your poopy pants.

If you have to pee, go outside. (This one requires some explanation. We were remodeling the bathroom, and the toilet was unhooked)

When you’re a parent, a good sense of humor is your best weapon. Always remember that! Have a hilarious quote of your own? Please share it!

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”

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Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”