How To Be a Better Dad: Blended Family 

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How To Be a Better Dad: Blended Family 

How To Be a Better Dad is the fatherhood and co-parenting section on SingleDad. Share and exchange great fatherhood advice from our members who are in all stages of fatherhood. This month, learn how to support one another in a blended family. 

 

Dear SingleDad, 

I’m divorced with 3 kids of my own and my now wife has 2 of her own. We have been dating for 3 years and married for 1 year. Our kids still don’t know how to be a blended family. What do we do and will it ever come to a comfortable place? 

-Andy, 40

Family is important and people can be family even if they are not related by blood. It can be very uncomfortable or disappointing when the blended family you hoped for did not turn out like expected. However, there is hope! 

 

  • Things Take Time 

I believe things take time and time heals. Being married for a year, may seem to your children that it is real now. A year isn’t too long and I would say it’s normal the children feel this way. There’s still changes to come! Time shouldn’t be counted anyway. There is no pressure or rush on the children to be comfortable with this new family. 

 

  • Communicating

You and your wife being open with each of your own children will provide them safety and security knowing your relationships aren’t different. Be open to what they’re feeling and allow them to feel it. Again, there is no pressure or rush to feel a way you both had hoped. Understanding how the children feel can help you all find ways to continue to move forward. 

 

  • Time Together 

Time together could be spent with only you and your children so they feel they still have their father. Same with your wife’s children. Having dinner together or a movie night with both sides can help ease into the reality of a new, blended family but never force it. Never force the children to spend time with you or your wife either; forcing only pushes people away. 

 

It may not be comfortable, but it will be a waiting game. All you and your wife can do is continue to support your own children and not be overbearing with the others. Planning to have dinner together or movie nights is a step. Allow the children to make their own decision and never force them. I think it’s normal and nothing to be concerned about. It only takes time. Thanks for asking SingleDad! 

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