How To Be a Better Dad is the Fatherhood and co-parenting section on SingleDad. This month, learn about a newly divorced dad asking about what to expect during the first 12 months of divorce. Read more…
How To Be a
Better Dad: I’m a Divorced Dad,
How To Be a Better Dad is the Fatherhood and co-parenting
section on SingleDad. This month, learn about a newly divorced dad asking about
what to expect during the first 12 months of divorce. Read more…
I’m a Divorced Dad, what’s
My name is Dan,
I am 42-year old newly divorced dad. I have two kids, ages 2
(Son) and 4. I live in Dallas, Texas and I am pretty much freaked out with the
whole idea of going it alone. I was married for over 12-years and through a few
relationship ending events; I decided to call it quits and divorce. I have 50/50 joint custody and between
my job and child care and school pickups; I feel a bit overwhelmed.
I am sure you have a few members now and then talk about
their first experiences as being a divorced dad and wanted to get a few tips on
what to expect for the first year.
Any advice you can offer me is appreciated.
Welcome to SingleDad, the website resource for Divorced Dads
just like you. We have over 35,000 members nationwide and I can tell you that
we have all experienced what you are going through one way or another because
it does seem a little bit overwhelming when you try to balance a household,
raise children and do a half way decent attempt at keeping a job.
Anyways, there are a few common tips I can offer you as you
go through your first year that will help. I spent more than a decade on this
site sharing my single parent experiences and what you can expect on the road
ahead of you. For specific single parent, fatherhood advice; you can email me
at: Rj@SingleDad.com and we can arrange
some coaching sessions. I offer them to all newly divorced and separated dads
going through what you are experiencing. For now, here is a brief summary of
what you can expect your first year as a Single Dad:
Rescue or Rescuer?
I caution many divorced men from feeling like they want to
be rescued and latch on to the first available woman that wants to help. This
immediate need for a relationship is normal, but not a long-term fix towards a
healthy single parent lifestyle.
Now don’t get me wrong about finding love again Dan,
however, the odds are overwhelmingly against you when you immediately jump into
a committed relationship. Worse of all, you put your children in a state of
confusion if your "rescuer" decides to break up with you and has established a
relationship with your kids. In summary, don’t jump into a new relationship
that gets your children involved. Give yourself at least 12-months or a time
when you know you are ready for a committed relationship.
This is often a general subject, but it has HUGE
ramifications in your overall personal, social, and mental health as a Single
Parent. Do everything you can to stay organized in your home, with your kids
schedules, and in your life for the first 12-months.
I say this from experience Dan. There is nothing worse to
come home to a messy house with no weekly groceries around to feed your children.
If necessary, pay for a bi-weekly house cleaner and go online to websites like,
CookLikeADad.com that can save you time and money and teach you how to cook and
grocery shop for your family. The bottom line Dan is stay on top of your day,
week and custody schedule with your family and life will run a lot smoother for
Now that the divorce is final, your new life begins with the
mother of your children. Although you had your reasons for a divorce, you have
to remember the reality that you will probably be communicating with her for
the rest of your life. Your children will keep you in touch with your ex-spouse
and you must always remember to make decisions that are in the best interest of
It is very common for most newly Divorced Dads to get
dragged into "old drama" topics that the former married couple couldn’t
resolve. I am here to tell you Dan, take the higher road and don’t take the
bait. Don’t send nasty texts, emails or voice messages to your ex-spouse no
matter how tempting it is to be right. At the end of the day, you must always
ask yourself this simple question:
Is it better to be right or happy?
If you are choosing happy more often than right; you are on
the right path for you and your children during the next 12 months.
I hope these three tips helped you Dan. Please keep in touch
and tell me your progress. I can always be reached at: Rj@SingleDad.com. Good luck, God Bless.
Got Kids? Need Fatherhood or Single
Do you have a Post Divorce, Single Parenting or Fatherhood
question you want to ask, send us an email with your question to: Parenting@SingleDad.com . We will
address and post your question to our readers and we will maintain your
Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”