Parenting Expectations During Family Travel

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Every level of parenting can be a challenge. So when you take your parenting duties on the road during a family vacation, you step into another world of parenting. How To Be a Better Dad Blog on the parenting lessons learned on a family vacation to Alaska.

How To Be A Better Dad: Traveling
with Kids

Parenting Expectations During Family
Travel

Every level
of parenting can be a challenge. So when you take your parenting duties on the
road during a family vacation; you step into another world of parenting. On my
recent 12-day RV vacation in Alaska, I learned a lot about my parenting skills.
Some of these experiences were not so fun, while other moments made me reflect
on how far I have come as a Single Parent. These recent travels gave me some
insight on how to manage some of the most difficult ages to travel with; from
Tweens, Teens and Young Adults; I had my hands full and I am ready to share.

Over the
next few months, I am going to spread out my vacation stories from a Father’s
perspective
in hopes of bringing some parenting advice to you before you head
out on the road on your next family travel.

wedding

The Back Story

My recent
trip to Alaska had two missions to accomplish. First, was my family to get
together and enjoy an annual summer vacation. I have three children; my oldest daughter
is 19 and a freshman in college. My son is 17 and is soon to be a senior in
high school. My youngest is 13 and will be finishing up middle school this
coming school year. In addition, my girlfriend has a 10-year old daughter that
makes us a "blended" family of 6.

The second
mission of this vacation was wedding; my wedding to be exact. Yes, it was me;
the SingleDad of the internet was planning a last minute wedding during our
vacation. This was part of a crazy, last minute plan that my girlfriend and I
had thought of because we had a few key pieces falling together at the last
minute. I have a long time, high school buddy who lives in Anchorage and agreed
to be our "Wedding Officer" and would perform and officiate our nuptials
somewhere along the way of our vacation. My girlfriend Beth was aware and
bought a wedding gown at the last minute in San Diego and had it shipped in
advance to my friends in Alaska. What could be any easier, right?

RV

Our goal was
simple:

-Fly in to
Anchorage, pick up our RV rental

-Begin our
12-day Road Trip and enjoy a variety of Alaska Activities & Events

-Find a
Wedding Location, get married in Alaska

-Head home

fireworks

The First Lessons: Vacation Allowance

I know there
are many opinions to this theory of allowances, however, under the
circumstances of vacation, giving a set and final dollar amount and making your
child responsible for their choices on how to spend their money takes the
stress and worry out of your hands. After a couple days of not applying the
flat allowance, I realized that there were far too many kids to manage and the
simple allocation of funds to each child makes this decision a no-brainer.
However, there were some conditions to this allowance that I enforced due to my
own lack of foresight:

Rule #1: All
kids push the limits on their purchases, so when the money runs out. There is
no more money coming from Mom or Dad during the entire trip, so choose wisely.

Rule #2:
Nobody is allowed to borrow from another person’s allowance, (secondary
lending). When you are out, you are out.

alaska

Parenting Expectations

As the trip
started, I had a general idea on what my three kids would act like during this
trip. My children are generally normal and have no more or less the attitude
and behavior of any kid their age. Here is a brief breakdown on how I
approached my parenting based on my experience in Alaska:

Young Adults

My 19-year old daughter is a freshman in
college and I understand what it was like to be her age and going on vacation
with family. In general, the best way to parent a young adult is to keep things
in perspective. They want to have "space" and given the opportunity; they want
to explore things by themselves. Word of the wise: give your young adult the
space to explore during your vacation and don’t take it personal. Also, don’t
go out of your way to accommodate special requests; but be mindful of the
importance of balance and respect to each other.

In my case, I was grateful to have my girlfriend
on this trip. Beth is the perfect "buffer" between my oldest daughter and the
rest of us, (especially me). The two of them went on a couple hikes together
during our trip and it seemed to make difference in my daughter’s overall
attitude.

When vacationing with a Young Adult,
these are my 3 tips:

-Treat them
like an adult, give them space and time to make some of their own decisions
during your vacation.

-When the
opportunity presents itself; allow your young adult the chance to do something
by themselves or with other people.

-Pick your
battles. Remember that there are other family members on vacation and your
reaction to conflict can affect the others on the trip. Don’t give unnecessary
attention to the little things that may bug you at home.

rj and alyssa

Teens and Tweens

My son and
daughter are 17 and 13 respectively and they are good kids. My girlfriend’s
daughter is 10 and is a good kid. The one thing that bothered me the most about
parenting this category during vacation is the common courtesy. When I talk
about courtesy, I am taking about being grateful and appreciative. At times
during my vacation, I grew increasingly frustrated with my children when it
came to offering a "Thank you" for the numerous activities and events that
happened during our stay. At one point, I had to stop, share and vent my
frustration by explaining what I had just experienced to everyone. It was a
shock to hear their reaction. My kids thought everything was free or comp’d and
therefore didn’t think it was necessary to be gracious…

As a Travel
Blogger for the past 5 years, many of the events that I attend are heavily
discounted by numerous sponsors and public relations companies. These sponsors
often allow my family access to some events that the "every day" family does
not experience, nor could afford. Even with these discounts, many of our Alaska
events that my family participated in were still a hefty cost out of my pocket
and my girlfriend’s pocket. From River Rafting to Zip Lining, to 5-Star dinners
on top of a mountain; there were times where both my girlfriend and I felt like
our kids were not sharing their gratitude for these events. Their thoughts were
my "Wake Up Call".

river rafting

Now, this is
not a conversation about kids and their sense of "entitlement" these days,
however, I had to accept my own responsibility as a parent on learning how to
be a better communicator. There were 3 "talking points" that I learned and I think
every parent should know before going on a vacation:

1. Make sure you point out to your
children that you are paying out of your pocket certain events and activities.
There is nothing wrong with letting your children know the cost and sacrifice
you made as a parent to making their trip fun and exciting. In my case as a
travel blogger, my kids thought everything as free. (Besides the point, I know)

2. Explain the importance to your
children on the value of expressing gratitude. In my case, a simple "thank you"
and acknowledgement goes a long way and completes the Family Karma". Mom and
Dad work hard and letting them know that you appreciate these things is
important.

3. There is nothing wrong with asking
for gratitude, but there is a difference between asking and demanding. I
realized through my own poor judgment that demanding gets you nowhere; simply
asking for the gratitude puts the conversation into a "choice". What this means
is simple: I am not demanding a "thank you" I am simply asking you to think and
choose to share how you feel.

Our Family Travel in Alaska Continues…

In summary,
I hope that these pre-travel parenting tips have helped you learn some valuable
insight when traveling with Tweens, Teens and Young Adults. Join me next month
when I share the next chapter in my Alaska Family RV Travel, Parenting Topic:
The right approach to Scheduling Activities and Meal
Planning while on vacation.

Got a Fatherhood Topic?

Do you have a Single Parenting or Fatherhood question you want to ask, send us an email with your question to: Parenting@SingleDad.com

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”

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Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”