Under Age Drinking

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SingleDad Blogger, RJ Jaramillo wants to share with you the three different types of conversations you need to have with your kids about under age drinking. The talk you have with your Tween, Teen, and Young Adult are all very different..

Under Age Drinking

You know it’s Going to
Happen… Are You Prepared?

You can only wish as a parent that that your child is open
and honest with you about their under-age drinking experience. Children seem to
be growing up faster than we wan them to these days; Are you prepared to have a
conversation with them about under age drinking?

There are three basic types of conversations that I have
experienced with my three children that seem to help me get my parenting
message about under-age drinking across to them. My children are at three
different stages in life. I have a 12 –year old daughter in middle school, a 16
year-old son in High School, and a 19 year-old daughter who is heading off to
college this week.

I am far from perfect as a Father, but I remain committed to
being the best Dad that I can to be a support and resource for my children at
all stages of their lives. The following paragraphs describe the three different
types of conversations I use to talk to my children about under-age drinking
and I hope they help open up a conversation for you with your children.

The Tween Talk

Today, it seems like the Middle school ages of children are
the breeding ground for early experimentation and curiosity. I can only tell
you that it is shocking to hear what our kids are learning at such an early age.
With all the peer pressure involved, don’t be surprised that your tween is
already aware of under age drinking.

The best way I have found to bridge this topic and
conversation is to keep the “fear” out of the conversation by telling a “story”
when you were their age. Make the story relate to them in a way of their
current events. Is there a “school dance” or other social activities coming up?
Create a story about your first social event and how peer pressure was present
in your life at the time. Introduce the under age topic and how you handled the
situation.

Creating this story offers a perfect opportunity to tell
your teen about the “Medical Facts” behind drinking at an early age. There is
plenty of research of how underage drinking can effect a tweens overall growth
and health. Here are a couple links from The Century Counsel, which is a
counsel of distillers who are fighting drunk driving and under-age drinking
offer these links for parents:

The Parents Conversation on
Under Age Drinking

Under Age Drinking
Materials

Overall, starting the conversation early and allowing your
child to share their feelings about under age drinking is important. Reassure
your child that having the talk with them is building trust and confidence
between the two of you. You want them to know that you will always be there for
them and they can talk about anything without being judged. Parenting in
today’s world is difficult and it is even more difficult if you are not
“connected” with your child.

Tween Drinking

The Teen Talk

The teen talk about underage drinking is going to be your
toughest conversation; or at least it was for me. These are the years where you
jump back and forth in between your past memories and experiences of High
School and the reality that you have a child in high school going through the
same stuff, all over again. I like
to call it, “Flashback Forward” which means you take a little bit back from
your past and you realize that you are experiencing it again through your
teen’s eyes going forward…

I have two tips for parents with teens when you have the
under age drinking conversation.

The first tip is to have the “Choices and Consequences” talk
with your teen. Most all parents can admit that we spoil our children. We just
want to give the best for our kids and sometimes we do a little too much. I can
tell you that if you fall under this category, you have something to
“negotiate” between the choices and consequences of underage drinking. It’s not
a fun conversation. It takes discipline and commitment to stick to your word as
a parent, but the message is clear to any teen that has the talk with you:

“Be a leader and not a follower. I want you to make the
right decisions and understand the consequences of making bad decisions.
Consequences of underage drinking can be fatal. You can also lose your driving
privileges and ….”

The “and” part allows you to include any of the “other”
items, gifts, vacations, and stuff that can leverage the severity of the
punishment. What’s important here is just to remain consistent with your words
and actions. For more tips as and advice on how to talk to your teen about
under age drinking:

Underage Drinking Link

Young Adult Drinking

The Young Adult Talk

I have a daughter who is leaving this week to a out of town
college. This is my first experience and I am doing the best not to become an
emotional wreck. I believe that I have done the best job possible as a Dad and
my daughter has shown me unbelievable results. She was a straight “A” student
in high school, an intelligent, beautiful, giving and loving young woman. She
earned every academic accomplishment and has shown me incredible courage,
intelligence and leadership over the years. As you can tell, I am very proud of her.

She is very responsible and I can honestly say that I am not
as worried about her and under age drinking. However, my advice on how to talk
to a young adult as I have done is to explain the “New World” that is awaiting
her after graduation.

My career for the past 24 years is in the banking industry.
This Industry has faced dramatic changes in the past 4 years and my whole
family has witnessed these changes first hand. In order for me to be in the
banking industry, I had to go through several background checks and meet
certain licensing requirements. These requirements include:

Credit Report
Screening:
I cannot have any derogatory items on my credit, which includes
bankruptcy, foreclosure. I must meet an adequate FICO score to be a Banker for
a Federally Chartered Bank

No Public Records,
such as arrests, misdemeanors, DUI’s, or felonies

State and Federal
Testing:
NMLS Standardized testing and current continuing education
requirements met quarterly.

The fact is that I have to do more and get paid less in the
industry that I have built a career and supported my family around. It’s pretty
easy to share with my young adult daughter that the world that we live in has
come down to background checks and credit reports.

Current and future employment for my daughter relies on
these “screening” mechanisms in order to filter the best overall candidates for
their limited positions. Gone are the days of the “good old boys club”. Today’s
employer is doing research before investing time and money on new employees. A
DUI or Public record may make the difference in a job after college and my
daughter is well aware of these changes. Underage drinking is a crime and
punishable by law in all 50 states. Let your young adult know how they control
their future beyond a GPA and college diploma.

Special Thanks to The Motherhood.com and The Century Council.org for offering SingleDad the opportunity to contribute on this important topic.

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”

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Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”