Dad to Dad Talk About Your Teen

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It is not a matter of if, but when your teenager begins to discover the opposite sex and begins a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Learn what every Dad needs to know about having the first conversation with the other parents. Teen and Sex Advice on SingleDad.

Your Teen In Love

As a Father
of a teenage son, I learned that there is a conversation that needs to take
place. This article is not about teen sex, but the type of conversation you
need to initiate with the parents of your teen’s partner. I call it the Teen
Parenting Quiz and it has proven positive and effective results. Like it or not, you will need to have
some difficult but important questions answered in order to establish a
relationship with the ‘other side’ of this relationship. Be prepared though, you will also have
to answer similar difficult and awkward questions about your own teen. However, once you get past the Teen
Parenting Quiz session, all parents will have a better understanding of the
other family household and the parenting styles of the teens.

The Teen Parenting Quiz questions do not fall into any
particular order of importance and you may modify the list of questions
according to your comfort level. Just remember, every parent has a right to
know what is going on with their teen in a relationship and having this
conversation allows you to show the other parent that you are an “involved and
present” father in your teen’s life.

Making Contact with the Other Parents

Let’s assume you have already discovered that your teen is
dating and you have a pretty good idea of the other set of parents. The key
next is to create the opportunity for an introduction. On the next event or activity that your
teen requires your permission, allow yourself the opportunity to ask to meet,
talk, or be introduced to the other parents BEFORE permission is granted… Do not make this introduction the time
to talk details. Leverage this opportunity to capture a name, cell number or
email of the other parent so that you can arrange a later time to have the Teen
Parenting Quiz with each other.

Setting Up the Talk

Every parent has
the right to discuss their teenager’s new relationship to the other side. As one
Father who has already done this with both a teen son and daughter, it is
important to keep a calm, patient and understanding tone with the other set of
parents. Remember, there are aa
couple things in mind. First, all
parents are different, but just because they have a different parenting style
does not make them bad parents; it just means that they are different. Second, you are not perfect either so
try not to take anything personal.
Your talk my not go as well as you like. You may not like what the other
parent has to say about your teen. However, remember the purpose of the talk is
all about keeping your teen safe and out of trouble.

Dad to Dad Talk

If you have the chance to speak to the other teen’s father, I
strongly recommend the Dad to Dad talk. I recently had this experience, and I am going to use the conversation that I had with
another father who was wanting to know more about the boy who is dating his
daughter. I felt that my Teen Parenting Quiz questions were received well from
the other Dad and it was easy to build trust between the two of us. My
introduction went something like this:

“Can we both
talk about our teens and their new relationship?, I would like to know more
about your Daughter and I would like for you to know more about my Son and our
family… I think one of the best things we can do for our teens is to have an
open and involved relationship at both households,”

What is
your daughter like at home?

Does she
have any sisters or brothers? How is her relationship with them?

How does
she like school? (Grades,
Activities, Overall interest in school)

Keeping School
and Grades as a Measuring Stick for their time together

Does she
have a lot of friends?

Does she do
a lot of activities with you?

When did
you discover that our teens were dating?

Is this the
first boyfriend/girlfriend relationship?

Does your
Teen have a curfew? Weekday / Weekend?

One of the
most important things is respecting the rules and boundaries at your home. Do
you have Rules and Boundaries at Home? (Nobody in bedrooms or Upstairs)

Parents are
present at Home visits?

Discipline of
the Teen (Being Grounded or On Restriction, Taking Use or Privileges away)

“I want us
to continue to keep in contact with each other and keep me informed on my sons
behavior with your daughter. Feel free to shoot me a text, call or email if
there is anything on your mind that you want to talk about…as awkward as you
might feel about it, please reach out to me regarding anything; Your Daughter
and My Son are very important to us.”

If you liked this article and have a particular question
about your Teen in a relationship, please feel free to email your question to: info@SingleDad.com

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”

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Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”