Ask SingleDad: Dating a Single Parent

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SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating from a Man’s perspective. Ask SingleDad is the Single Parent Dating Advice section for the Divorced Dad. This month, Pam from Australia wants some advice on how to date a divorced dad. Read more.

SingleDad: Dating a Single Parent

SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating
from a Man’s perspective. Ask SingleDad is the Single Parent Dating Advice
section for the Divorced Dad. This month, Pam from Australia wants some advice
on how to date a divorced dad. Read more.

My name is Pam, from Australia.

I’ve been dating this single dad for 6 months and he tells
me he sees me like more than just a date, but he doesn’t say I am his girlfriend.
This is the first time that I am dating someone with a son. Its been very
complicated to me to get used to the idea of having very little of his time. He
keeps cancelling events we are supposed to go together and in 6 months he has
only taken me out for dinner once.

I told him that I am not happy with just going to his house
to spend the night as a "sleep-over". I haven’t met his family or son. He tells
me everyone in his family knows about my existence and his son knows his father
has a "girlfriend", he keeps promising me that I am going to meet his
son, but it never happens.

I’m not happy with this situation and we’ve been fighting
too much for a date. I REALLY like this man and that’s why I am still fighting
for this relationship to work out. I need some advice. I feel lost.

I hope you guys can help me 🙁

Single parent

Here’s what our SingleDad staff sees what’s going on:

First of all, a 6-month relationship is not that long in
time. It is quite normal for a divorced dad to be keeping some distance from
you and his "other" circles of friends and family. What would be
important to know from you is the frequency of contact you are having with this
man. Is it once a week contact with lots of phone and texting or something
else?

Dating a Divorced Dad
is Different

As far as the lack of consistency with his appointments and
dates with you; this could mean a few things. One, he could be one of those
guys that "over-books" his time with everyone. When that happens, you
need to call him out and point out specific dates that he did this to you. Make
sure that you explain that you are only "flexible" with him to a
point, and he has reached that point with you. If his apology or explanation is
not worthy of a second chance then it will be up to you on how you will handle
his next appointment with you. Just remember, you are in control of "one
thing" and that is your own feelings…

Now let’s talk about these so called, "dates" you
have with him. In your story, it sounds like he has only taken you to
dinner ONCE and all the other times its turned out to be "sleepovers"…
does this sound like a meaningful relationship? Unless you are happy with the
predictable outcome of these so-called dates, you really don’t have a
boyfriend; you have a "play date". This is quite common for a
newly divorced dad who wants and needs the attention without the obligation of
a full time relationship.

sleeping

Single Parent Dating
Talk

This is not an easy conversation to have with anyone on either side of the
relationship
, but you are going to have to take a reality check on this. You
are just as guilty as your SingleDad to allow this relationship to slip into
this "routine" of sleepovers. It takes two people to create a
sleepover and I can only help the one person who has reached out for advice and
that is you. You are going to have to be more accountable for you choices Pam
and make better decisions. I can’t be mad at a man who has a beautiful woman
like you in his life coming over for sleepovers. You need to have the
conversation with him on neutral territory, (this means out of the bedroom and
in a public surrounding like a park). Do not put off these topics that you
mentioned and ask your man for specific answers to these patterns of behavior
that do not amount to anything but a "play date". The good news
is that you reached out in a time that you can change the course of this
relationship and take it to the next level. It’s still early.

In summary, you have to take a step back and see what you
are working with. I do not know how long your SingleDad has been divorced, but
it appears that he is doing a lot of the behavioral things that most divorced
men do during their first year.

Are You Dating
a Divorced Dad? Ask SingleDad

SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating
from a Man’s perspective. If you are a Single Woman dating a divorced dad and
have a question, or a Divorced Dad seeking dating advice, send us an email
to: Dating@SingleDad.com Your
question will be posted to our readers and we will maintain your privacy.

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”