Dating a Divorced Dad: Making Alone Time

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SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating from a Man’s perspective. Our Q&A Article on AskSingleDad this month comes From a Single Woman wanting alone time with her Divorced Dad. Read more.

Ask SingleDad, Dating a Divorced Dad: Making
Alone Time

SingleDad wants to help you
understand Single Parent Dating from a Man’s perspective. Our
Q&A Article on AskSingleDad this month comes From a Single Woman wanting
alone time with her Divorced Dad. Read more.

Dear SingleDad,

My name is Linda; I am a
Single Woman, no kids, dating a SingleDad. Here’s my story…

I began dating a Single Dad a few months ago. He and his
son’s mother have been broken up since his son was an infant (he’s now 3 years
old). I am the first woman he has dated/introduced to his son. He is very family-oriented and has made it very clear that his son is his first
priority. He has 50% custody and that means that between his job and having his
son; there is little alone time for us.

I know he is marriage minded (from what he says, he wants things between us to
move quickly) and I think he could be someone I could spend my life with,
however, I feel like I need more time one on one with him before I make such a
decision. I have brought up that it would be nice to get away for a couple of
days, and he has said that he wants to plan something that includes his son.

How can I express to him that I need us to spend some time alone? His son is
great and well behaved, but I would like to spend some time just us. I don’t
want to hurt his feelings or make him defensive. I appreciate how he has
brought me into their lives and has made me feel included. I have no children,
so I would love your advice on how to best broach the subject with sensitivity.

ask singledad

Asking for Alone Time

So here’s my advice Linda,

Dating a divorced dad is different. Being the first woman
that your divorced dad has dated has it’s own opportunities and challenges. You
are perfectly fine to feel a little skeptical when your man wants to get too
serious too soon. In fact, you should feel safe and free to tell him that it is
imperative to have a lone time together before taking the relationship further
than what it is. You got to see the man behind the father figure.

The fact that he has 50/50 custody should afford him the
opportunity to make you the priority for a extended weekend. He needs to
know more about you as a person, just as much as you need to know him and learn
what makes him "tick". Jumping into a more serious relationship and
having him use the excuse that " you will find the time later" is not
the right thing to do…

Single Dad Dating

In my own experience, I have dated Single Moms and Single Women
without kids and each of those scenarios require different opportunities to
discover each other’s chemistry together with kids and alone time. When I
dated a Single Woman, I had to communicate a schedule of time that would work for
both of us between work, family, and dating time. As our dating time grew, I
got to understand the woman that I was dating and she got to understand me
more.

What’s Your Love
Language?

Learning each other’s "Love Language" is very
important, especially after divorce. Sometimes a divorced dad never gets to
invest in discovering what makes him truly emotionally fulfilled; men often go
to familiar patterns and end up re-marrying a woman who is exactly the same as
the ex-spouse.

Do you know your boyfriend’s Love Language? Click here and
take your test and forward him the same link:click here and discover what makes your heart fulfilled and let him share his results as
well from this easy and effective tool to help you understand each others love
language.

I follow a simple Single Parent Dating philosophy: I am in
no rush to make a decision, however, I am always in a RUSH to make an informed
decision.

dating

In summary,

I would make sure you give a very sincere and direct conversation
to your divorced dad and tell him that you are doing him a favor by
pushing back and asking for dedicated time together. You BOTH need to make an
informed decision, and there is no way either one of you can while you are only
dating during his joint custody schedule. Tell him that you love his child, but
that is not the only reason why you love him. You need to tell him that by
being in a rush to move forward is not going to give either one of you a
fulfilled heart. Take the quiz
together and talk openly about your results before going forward into a more
committed relationship. You will be happy that you did this.

Good luck and keep me posted.

Are You Dating
a Divorced Dad? Ask SingleDad

SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating
from a Man’s perspective. If you are a Single Woman dating a divorced dad and
have a question, or a Divorced Dad seeking dating advice, send us an email
to: Dating@SingleDad.com Your
question will be posted to our readers and we will maintain your privacy.

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”