Mid 30’s, Never Married, No Kids; What's Wrong?

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Ask SingleDad: Mid 30’s, Never Married,
No Kids; What’s Wrong?

Dear Ask SingleDad,

My name is Jeff and I have been a
divorced single dad for about 4 years. I am currently 40 years old. My case is
somewhat different in that I have full custody of my two sons who are now 14
and 8. My divorced Dad life is a long story
but that’s not today’s issue. I work nearly 50 hours a week and when not at
work, I am raising my kids and going to sports practices with them.

I am now balanced in my work and family
life, so I started a Match.com profile about 2 months ago. I have set some
pretty high standards for myself, and I have remained picky on my selections of
dates and do not want to travel too far away from home. I have been on a few
dates with single moms but no sparks have flown just yet. I have also been contacted
by a few Mid 30’s, Single women whom have never had kids, but have chosen not
to date them…yet.

My question is this, can a 38-year-old
woman whom has never been married and never had kids even come close to trying
to understand my lifestyle? Do
these women just have something wrong with them or am I being too judgmental
and prejudice on them not having kids? I don’t want to miss out on a good
woman, but I also do not want to set myself up for failure.

Your Advice is appreciated.

Jeff in Texas

Single Women

Dear Jeff in Texas,

As a fellow Divorced Dad who has sorted
through the maze of online dating and the variety of women online; you have
come to a familiar question. Can these women be for real? Well, the answer is Yes, there are a
variety of beautiful, intelligent and loving women who have escaped marriage
and have no kids.

However, let me give you the breakdown
on my own, "hands on" research on few different categories that these, Mid 30’s
Single Woman with no kids fall into and you can see if yours fits into one of
these groups:


"Hung on too long" Woman:

This woman is the type of lady who had
"invested" too much time with the wrong guy. Unfortunately, this type of long-term relationship woman had
way too many warnings, events and signals that her boyfriend wasn’t going to
"come around" and become a grown man and marry her.

Chances are, the relationship ended
like a dying plant that gets no water and the woman finally "walks out" on her
long-term boyfriend. Now she
becomes a scorned woman and has a tough heart, but she also has an unyielding
sense of loyalty. Be careful of this type of woman because time is the one resource
you can’t mess with. This kind of woman wants a confident man with a direction
and game plan. If you don’t feel the connection, don’t waste her time because
she has already lost it with another man. On the other hand, this is a great
woman to have in your life if you have a lot in common with her and you are
both on the same page to settle down.

career woman

"Career Woman"

I found this type of woman intriguing.
This woman has spent most of her life chasing academics or a career in a field
that has challenged her with relocations, promotions and work related accolades.

This woman has put her career ahead of
her love life and suddenly realizes that she is missing out on the life outside
of work. It may be too late for her own kids, however, she now has the time and
resources available to invest in finding a man with a family. Being a Divorced
Dad is attractive to the "Career Woman" because it allows her to balance her
life with Career time, Family Time, and Single time alone with you.

In my experience, the only thing
challenging with the "career woman" is that they can be difficult to
emotionally connect with family-related issues. What I mean is that they will
often guard themselves from being emotionally vulnerable or available in a time
of need. With a little effort on your part, the Career Woman can settle in to
be a good fit for you as well. Just make sure you and your partner work on communicating
emotionally and get some counseling done early to avoid any mishaps.

runaway bride

Runaway Bride

Yes, I have dated this "Wild heart" of
a woman. The Runaway Bride comes
into your life in a spectacular setting, which means often in a flash or a grand
abruptness. These women are gifted with the gift of gab, looks and seduction.
If I was asked to describe my own adventure, I would say that every time I was
with my Runaway Bride, I felt like I was on "Spring Break" all over again, and

This hyper-active woman never stays put
in one place; and there’s a reason.
They don’t like structure and will do anything to disrupt conformity and
routine. This might have to do
with her job and career and you can often find these women self-employed and
entrepreneurs. She will probably bring the most fun into your life, but you
have to remember there are consequences to dating the Runaway Bride.

First off, is her past. If you are not
comfortable hearing her version of her past loves lost, then go no further. Her
"broken stories" or versions of what happened in her past relationships will
frustrate you because you will never get the same version twice on the same
man. Translation: You will not be the one to tame her heart, so enjoy the ride
and know that the ride will end on her terms, not yours.


Jeff, I think dating the Mid 30’s Single
Women, Never Married with No Kids can offer you all the fun and challenge that
you are ready for as a Divorced Dad Dating. As I stated the pros and cons based
on my own experience, I think you will be able to sort out which category each
of these women you meet has fallen under, (and you will probably come up with a
few more categories as well) and you can decide for yourself if you are up with
for the consequences.

Either way, make sure you keep things
in perspective when internet dating on Match.com; nobody’s perfect and you
can’t be too picky because there are probably a lot of good women that you are
missing out on…Enjoy the ride and keep me posted.

you Dating a Divorced Dad? Ask

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Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”