What to do when your friends are her friends too? We all wonder and worry about this after the big breakup.
What to do when your friends are HER friends too; we all wonder and worry about this after the big breakup. But for what? It seems like a huge deal in the moment, when a party, date or wedding arises. Everyone is thinking to themselves: Is she going to be there if he’s there? Then when the party happens, you each keep your distance for a while and then eventually find yourselves forced into a conversation over the punch bowl, like in high school. Wait a second; take a step back and breathe. We’re adults here, aren’t we? Act like it!
If we all ask ourselves why this is a problem, examine it and talk about it openly, we won’t have any problems. Everyone, break up or not has a right to friends . Next time your best friend is getting married, call your ex up. What’s the worst that could happen? You’ve had a kid together, you can reach a medium ground for a friend’s wedding. Talk about your expectations of the event, talk about what your worries and frustrations are with going to the same places. Are you worried she’ll bring her new boyfriend or husband which will piss you off, ruining your good time with your friends?
Communication does not have to be limited to when you’re married. Communication is key in any relationship. You talk openly about everything in the world with your buddies right? Why not the mother of your children? If you’re already divorced or separated, what else do you have to lose? Talk about it! Everyone is entitled to a good time…and so are your friends. If they are your friends, her friends or BOTH your friends, they know you well and they’ll understand any special needs when planning get-togethers. You share your kids, now share your friends.
Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”