Newly Single and Divorce Advice from SingleDad.com- Relationship Advisor, David Wygant talks about the power of giving yourself permission to express your feelings…
Give yourself permission. That is a term I use a lot. A lot of us don’t give ourselves permission to talk.
We will give ourselves permission to think, though, so we basically spend a lot of time just thinking about what to say. We walk through life thinking to ourselves "What should I say?" instead of just observing and making comments about what we see.
Give yourself permission to say whatever is on your mind. That is something I tell people all the time. I tell them to spend a day just making comments about whatever they see, whatever they feel and how others makes them feel.
If you see somebody with a kid who is absolutely adorable, walk right over to them and say "Oh my God, that kid is so cute!" Give yourself permission to speak from your heart. Give yourself permission to feel.
Give yourself permission to express yourself. We’re all very expressive people. We really are. We all have a lot to say. If you spend time with somebody and give them permission, they’ll talk to you all day and all night long.
What if you were hanging out with a friend, and your friend said "Hey man, I want to get to know you. I want you to tell me everything about you. I’m so interested in you." How would that make you feel?
That would make you feel fantastic. It would also make you feel alive. So the next time you see somebody, give yourself permission to say whatever is on your mind.
I was in Whole Foods just now, and I saw this woman I used to see all the time with her (now much older-looking) son. I said, "I haven’t seen you in forever. I haven’t lived in Brentwood in a long time. Your kid got big. The last time I saw him he was in a stroller." Then I said to the kid, "How old are you now?" The kid told me he was five years old, and was very proud to tell me.
I say what’s on my mind and I say what I feel, because people can tell that I’m being authentic. People can see I’m being real.
This is what I mean by giving yourself permission. When you start exuding this kind of authentic and positive body language, people will receive it and take it in.
They will see that you’re not saying something just for the sake of saying it, but that it’s actually coming from your heart. When you say something from your heart and it’s authentic, people will respond to you.
So try this today. Say what’s on your mind. Say what you feel, and watch how people respond to you.
Of course, you also need to listen carefully to what people say back to you. Once you do that, you’ll know exactly what to say next.
Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
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