Like everything else in life, there is an art to flirting. First and foremost, relax. I know you get the butterflies when you see her pretty face behind the counter at the coffee shop mixing your double-shot something-or-other-light-on-the-milk.
Like everything else in life, there is an art to flirting. First and foremost, relax. I know you get the butterflies when you see her pretty face behind the counter at the coffee shop mixing your double-shot something-or-other-light-on-the-milk. You hope to God she comes over to the register to take your order so you can impress her with your amazing intellect just to botch it with nervousness.
The key to flirting is making whatever you say sound like it’s natural and not forced; it’s what everyone responds to. When you’re making a business deal, it’s the same thing—one person can usually tell by instinct whether or not the other person is genuine or trying too hard. Flirting is no different. Don’t come up with asinine jokes or anecdotes that you wouldn’t laugh at if someone said them to you (while trying to get something out of you).
The best way to flirt is to say what comes naturally. Nothing should be rehearsed or it will sound fake and you might come off as a stalker. A perfect (but far out) example is the film "Groundhog Day"; when Bill Murray is getting closer to the Andie MacDowell character. At first he flirts naturally because he doesn’t care anymore and she responds well. As he learns more about her, with every day repeating itself, he gets better and better at it. But what happens when he knows too much about her and has been practicing every day, over and over again? She suspects something is up and is turned off by it. That’s what will happen if you rehearse what you say to a girl too much. If you can be funny on the spot, that’s great but if you talking to her like a friend, she’ll probably flirt back.
Remember how it worked with your ex, way back at the beginning, when life was happy and cute (and you hadn’t lived together yet)? Remember the first couple times you talked to each other in passing? You flirted, naturally, and it worked! She responded well to you being your funny self and there was an exchange back and forth, mingled with affectionate smiles. Say what comes to mind that you think is funny, in the moment, don’t hold back and don’t go overboard. Know when enough is enough and always be the one to end the moment first, especially while you’re ahead. When you can do that and know she’ll be thinking about the conversation as much as you, you’ve mastered the art of flirting.
Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
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