When Divorced Friends Re-Marry

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Ask SingleDad is the best resource for Divorced Dads seeking advice on a variety of topics related to their transition into a Single Parent Lifestyle. This weeks topic: When your divorced friends re-marry. Read more.

Ask SingleDad:

When Your Divorced Friends
Re-Marry

Dear SingleDad,

My name is Matt and I am a member here on SingleDad. I am
38-years old, and a Divorced Dad for over 5 years. I have a 9 -year old son.
Over the years, I have created a good group of divorced dads that I socialize
with. These Dads are solid and I really don’t know what I would have done
without them for the support during my divorce life transition.

Recently, one of the Divorced Dads in our group has
announced that he was getting engaged. To be honest, I was surprised with the
news. I feel a little lost on what
to do and how to support my friend. I am sure you have experienced this before
and I would appreciate some advice.

-Matt, Charleston, South Carolina

best friends

Dear Matt,

I can relate to your story, just a few times in my Divorced Dad life. Finding good friends
is hard, especially while you are trying to be the best Dad that you can with
your custody schedule, as well as balancing your job and creating a social
life. Good friends are hard to come by, but let me tell you a story on how I
made it work.

Most of us Divorced Dads don’t stay divorced for very long.
In fact, the average divorced dad will
remarry
twice as fast as the divorced mom. Why? I can bore you with a
variety of reasons, but I guess in a nutshell, we just don’t give ourselves as
much time to adapt to a new and different lifestyle as the divorced moms do.

As I started my Divorced Dad life, I grabbed as many friends
as I could and tried my best to stay connected to a variety of people; not just
divorced folks. I soon realized that keeping a variety of friends around me
helped with the changes that go on with the divorced ones.

golf

My one true "Wing Man" and I did everything together: We
golfed, traveled, and "clubbed" together; we had plenty of stories to share
with a lot of laughs. However, things changed. It was over a long extended weekend where I was celebrating
my birthday out of town with a bunch of guys that he found the woman of his
dreams. In summary, the stage was set, and it was only a matter of time when he
got engaged, married and moved on his life. We still see each other, just a
little infrequently. Divorce life
has a way of going through cycles.

Now I am not saying to dump your Divorced Dads. These guys
are the best because they can relate and share your stories and struggles. My
crew of Divorced Dads are just as
solid as yours and I knew there was going to be a day when these men found
their "right fit" and re-discovered love. We had a tight group of Dads and every open weekend we would
create that "Spring Break" feeling.

dating

The best thing I can advise you is to keep yourself
available to your friend. He will still need you when he is married. Mine reach
out to me all the time and I still make time to meet up with them. However,
just remember that the "good old days" are not coming back. The change in their lives means there
will be some differences in yours. For Example, I have learned to be more
patient with my re-married, divorced
dads
because they less time and more variables to free up their time to be
with me. Sometimes, you will get a last minute cancellation from them; don’t
take it personal. Remember, they are still the same guy you always trusted.

If you get invited to the wedding, go. If he wants a Bachelor Party, offer to help sponsor
the event and make it something that everybody is going to enjoy like a Poker
Party or a day of Golf. The point is, life moves forward. Be there for your
buddy and tell him that you are happy for him and will always support him.

Single Dad Life
Changes, Friends Don’t.

friends

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”

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Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”